Tuesday, December 27, 2011


Hey! I can officially tell you that I'm making...
scroll down

A NEW WEBSITE! I really made sure you wanted this info! But yeah, it will be ready on January 1st 2012. So, after a little over 3 years of writing on this website, I'm finally getting a new one. :( Sorry, I'm getting emotional. For the next 4 days I'll be rerunning some of my better posts you've probably not seen unless you're a long time fan. Bye!

Sunday, December 25, 2011

12th Day Of Creepermas: Twelve Days Of Creepermas!

On the first day of Creepermas, a Creeper gave to me...
an exploded house!

On the second day of Creepermas, a Creeper gave to me...
2 gun powders
and an exploded housssseee!

On the third day of Creepermas, a Creeper gave to me...
3 hearts gone
2 gun powders
and an exploded housssseeee!

On the fourth day of Creepermas, a Creeper gave to me...
4 aggravations
3 hearts gone
2 gun powders
and an exploded housssseee!

On the fifth day of Creepermas, a Creeper gave to me...
5 WTFssssssssssssssss!
4 aggravations
3 hearts gone
2 gun powders
and an exploded housssseee!

On the sixth day of Creepermas, a Creeper gave to me...
6 XP lost
5 WTFssssssssss!
4 aggravations
3 hearts gone
2 gun powders
and an exploded housssseee!

On the seventh day of Creepermas, a Creeper gave to me...
7 creeps a creeping
6 XP lost
5 WTFsssssssss!
4 aggravations
3 hearts gone
2 gun powders
and an exploded housssseee!

On the eighth day of Creepermas, a Creeper gave to me...
8 enderman endering

7 creeps a creeping
6 XP lost
5 WTFsssssssss!
4 aggravations
3 hearts gone
2 gun powders
and an exploded housssseee!

On the ninth day of Creepermas, a Creeper gave to me...

9 music discs
8 enderman endering

7 creeps a creeping
6 XP lost
5 WTFsssssssss!
4 aggravations
3 hearts gone
2 gun powders
and an exploded housssseee!

On the tenth day of Creepermas, a Creeper gave to me...

10 blocks destroyed
9 music discs
8 enderman endering

7 creeps a creeping
6 XP lost
5 WTFsssssssss!
4 aggravations
3 hearts gone
2 gun powders
and an exploded housssseee!

On the eleventh day of Creepermas, a Creeper gave to me...

11 fresh new aspirins
10 blocks destroyed
9 music discs
8 enderman endering

7 creeps a creeping
6 XP lost
5 WTFsssssssss!
4 aggravations
3 hearts gone
2 gun powders
and an exploded housssseee!

On the twelfth day of Creepermas, a Creeper gave to me...

12 respawings
11 fresh new aspirins
10 blocks destroyed
9 music discs
8 enderman endering
7 creeps a creeping
6 XP lost
5 WTFsssssssss!
4 aggravations
3 hearts gone
2 gun powders
and an exploded houssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeee!


11th Day Of Creepermas: Creepers Creep

Yo, I'm a Creeper
And U love to creep
And my brothers a sheeper
So I get sheep!

I'll explode on your stuff
Prepare to lose
You think I bluff?
And you will then ooze

Your house will be gone
You'll be dead as a fawn
I'll be mowing your lawn



Thursday, December 22, 2011

10th Day Of Creepermas: Creeperian Idol

Puma Creeper
Oh woah!
Oh woah!
Oh woah!
When I look in front, I see a
Oh woah!
Oh woah!
I chase him, down the streeet!
He can't escape,
So he gets draaaaape
Oh death!

Cowboy Creeper
Life is like Minecraft,
And I wanna play it
All night long
No, no, no mom, I wanna just 1 hour more!
Oh yeah!
If your leaning my way, then you'll be lenient
And lent me play some more

Gothic Creeper
Gosh life stinks
Walking around
Never having fun
This song doesn't rhyme
But a never have time
To write good lyrics
I won an award
That said "YOU SUCK"
In big gold letters
It is my prized possession
I fell into a recession
Created by a player
Then he pored lava
On my goth Creeper face

Sac re blur
I will rap so fast
It will make your eyes blur
All that stuff is in the past

I will win
Know why?
'Cause losings a French sin
In my noob tactic book, there's nothin' but lies

I'll explode after you've gone mining
Gotta a lot a goods?
Good, my pants'll get gem lining!
I'll make beast coal hoods!

I'm gonna get the cool million
Prepare to be blown away
'Cause next I get the cool billion

Simpa Creeper
Life is better
When it is simple
I don't have to stress
It's not a mess
I simply confess
I prefer words less
But that's just a guess
BOOM that was your mind
Get back to the grind
I love to find
A CHEST! With no items.


9th Day Of Creepermas: Lil' Creeper and his Dad

There once was a Creeper and his dad was mean,
So Lil' Creeper hatched a plan.
When Papa Creeper said "Eat your rotten flesh!",
Lil' Creeper shouted no a ran.

So Lil' Creeper tricked his dad, 
And locked him in the cellar.
His mom never found out where Papa Creeper went,
'Cause Lil' Creeper didn't tell her.

So Papa Creeper spent his days ,
Eating spiders and gruel.
And for every bite for 50 years, 
He was sorry he'd been cruel.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

8th Day Of Creepermas: 10 Creepers Jumping On The Bed

10 little Creepers jumping on the bed
1 fell off and broke his head
The doctor called and said, "No more Creepers jumping on the bed!"
9 little Creepers jumping on the house
1 fell off and killed his spouse
The doctor called and said, "No more Creepers jumping on the house!"
8 little Creepers jumping on the dungeon
1 fell off and grew a bunion
The doctor called and said, "No more Creepers jumping on the dungeon!"
7 little Creepers jumping on the tower
1 fell off and tasted sour
The doctor called and said, "No more Creepers jumping on the tower!"
6 little Creepers jumping on the mansion
1 fell off and got an extension
The doctor called and said, "No more Creepers jumping on the mansion!"
5 little Creepers jumping in line
1 fell and broke his spine
The doctor called and said, "No more Creepers jumping in line!"
4 little Creepers jumping on the tree
1 fell of and shattered his knee
The doctor called and said, "No more Creepers jumping on the tree!"
3 little Creepers jumping on the ball
1 fell off and had a big fall
The doctor called and said, "No more Creepers jumping on the ball!"
2 little Creepers jumping on the cave
1 fell off and then felt grave
The doctor called and said, "No more Creepers jumping on the cave!"
1 little Creeper jumping on the abode
He fell of then, EXPLODE! 

Monday, December 19, 2011

7th Day Of Creepermas: The World Is Like Minecraft

All the world is Minecraft, and men and women merely players.
First, the noob, born with no experience.
Second, the newbie, with some experience.
Third, the fool, risking diamonds for arrows.
Forth, the warrior, the brave adventurer.
Fifth, the builder, who wishes to build, build, and build.
Sixth, the relaxer, who wishes to recline.
Seventh, the Creeper kills you.
All the world is Minecraft, and men and woman are merely players.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

6th Day Of Creepermas: Creeper Haikus

On a pitch black night,
A crazy Creeper smells a Minecraft player,
Then the Creeper kills him.

During the freshly upturned day,
A player goes outside of his house,
And meets a charged Creeper.

In a newly found dungeon,
A weary Minecraft traveler finds a Creeper,
Never sees Diamond Pick again.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

5th Day Of Creepermas: Harry Creeper and the Enderdragon's Stone

There once was a Creeper named Harry, who lived a miserable life in a mob spawner. He was always on fire. But then, a fool came into the dungeon he was in. He killed the other Creepers. Then as he took out Harry's spawner, Harry was freed and took the player's life! "I'm free!" Harry said. "I'm going to Magma's School Of Creeperdry and Creepercraft!" He went their. He met two other Creepers, Ron Boom and Herminone Gunpowder. There was a rumor that an Enderdragon was guarding a golden apple. Turns out there was. Harry accidentally stumbled upon a portal. He was never seen again.

Friday, December 16, 2011

4th Day Of Creepermas: Cookie Creeper

There once was a Creeper who came from the Elemental Creepers mod. All the other Creepers made fun of him because he was useless and only dropped cookies. But all the Minecraft players loved him. He made a friend, Jimmy. But Jimmy wasn't his friend he just wanted cookies. He let the Creeper explode. Then he took his cookies. Then Jimmy ate the cookies. Then Jimmy was killed by a Magma Creeper.
Patrickboese YouTube Channel Please Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/user/patrickboese#g/u

Thursday, December 15, 2011

3rd Day Of Creepermas: Silly Creeper

Silly Creeper sleepy
Silly Creeper sad
Silly Creeper tired
Silly Creeper glad
Silly Creeper wants to explode
Silly Creeper sees an abode
Sill Creeper craves to kill
Silly Creeper explodes right on Will!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

2nd Day Of Creepermas: Creeper in the Hat

Screenshot From Minecraft
Once upon a time, there were two Minecraft players, Bill and Suzanne. It was rainy out so that they couldn't go outside, at the risk of being killed by a monster. "Man, Suzanne, I wanna go outside!" Bill said. "Do you wanna lose your Iron Hoe?" Suzanne asked. "FINE!" Bill yelled. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it," Bill said. "NO! What if it's a... Creeper?" Suzanne said with worry. "It won't!" Bill said with a smug. As soon as Bill opened the door, there was a 1.5 second pause, then an explosion. "BILL!" Suzanne yelled. Suzanne heard not pain, but laughter. "We totally got you!" a voice said. "You shoulda seen the look on your face!" Bill said. "Bbbuuuttt, bbbuuuttt, you died!" Suzanne stuttered. "No it just looked like he died!" said the voice, but Suzanne saw that it was a Creeper with a hat. "Greetings! I'm The Creeper In The Hat, meet Creeper 1 and Creeper 2!" The Creeper In The Hat said. Two Creepers came out. CHARGED CREEPERS. "Hi!" Bill and Suzanne said. 1 Creeper walked over to Bill, and the other to Suzanne. Then they exploded. "CRAP! THAT'S THE 48TH TIME THAT HAPPENED!" The Creeper In The Hat.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

1st Day Of Creepermas: The Little Creeper That Could

Once upon a time, there was a little Creeper. His family said that he would never be true to the Creeper name. "You will never cause devastation to an innocent Minecraft player, and/or their house. You will just get killed and you will have no gunpowder," Papa Creeper said. "I will too! I will kill a Minecraft player and part of their house! I'm leaving!" Little Creeper said with anger. So, Little Creeper set out on his journey. Unfortunately, he ran into Notch. "Hello, I'm Little Creeper, who are you?" asked Little Creeper. "AH! Creeper!" Notch yelled. Then, Notch took out his Diamond Sword and with 3 swings, the Little Creeper was dead. He failed to provide any gunpowder to Notch, proving he could never explode.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

ANNOUNCEMENT: 12 Days Of Creepermas

Does this, scare you?
Hey! Starting on December 13th, I will be releasing one post everyday having something to go with the infamous Minecraft enemy, none other than, the Creeper! What's that? A Creeper is, apparently, what was that, oh yeah standing outside my window. Oh, now it's saying something. What? Did you say, "That's a very nice everything you have there." Is that it? That sounded like a fuse, OH MY GOSH! CREEPER BLEW UP MY HOUSE!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Vacation Day 3: Last Day :(

Hey! Sorry I didn't post this a few days ago, but I got sick and threw up several times, soooo, if I had tried to write this my keyboard would get even more messed up, but I digress. Time to review my day! It was sad because it was the last day. We went on this ride called Mummy's Revenge. NOT DOING IT EVER AGAIN! IT WAS NOT FOR ME! I HATED IT! GAH! Halfway through the ride, they said it was over, then a creepy voice said "death is only the beginning" and you took this, like, 200 feet fall and 100 mph. But, I went on Hogwarts: The Forbidden Journey twice, which was AWESOME! It was a fun last day. I miss it!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Vacation Day 2: I'm The Chosen One

Today I went to Universal Studios and it was awesome! I went to the Wizarding World Of Harry Potter! And guess what? I got picked for the Olivander thing in the wand shop, it was awesome! I didn't get the exact wand that I got picked for, but I got a wand made out of the same material because the wand I got was ugly, it had a freakin' mummy on it! I prefer my new wand. If you want to read almost what me and Olivander said, scroll down to the bottom of this post. We got Butterbeer in the cool sovenier glass. We also went to most of the other rides too, most notably the Jurrasic Park River Rapids, this toon ride which had several big falls, and the Spider man 3-D thing adventure. I think they use actual fire for some of the rides!

Olivander: You there, what is your name?
Patrick: Patrick.
Olivander: Ah yes Patrick, why don't you come up over there.
Patrick walks up up
Olivander: Now we are going to choose your wand. Now as you may know, each of our Olivander wands have a magical substance such as dragon heartstring or phoinex feather, and no two Olivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns or phoinexes are the same.Now try this wand, 11 inches, unicorn hair. Now move those flowers from here and say "Accio Flowers".
Patrick: Accio Flowers!
Drawers start moving next to the flower
Olivander: Oh no, no, no, no.
Olivander waves wand and drawers stop moving
Olivander: Obviously not that one.
Patrick puts wand back
Olivander: Try this one 16 inches, unicorn hair. Let's try something simpler. Just try watering the flowers. Say "
Patrick: Aguamenti!
Flowers die
Olivander: Oh!
Olivander waves wand and flowers come back to life
Olivander: Maybe, maybe. Try this one, 14 inches, dragon heartstring.
Patrick grabs wand and light blasts one and harry potter music starts playing
Olivander: Ah, and Elder Wand is ideal for a young wizard such as yourself.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Vacation Day 1: Bieber Fever In Epcot

Hey! I'm on vacation and I went to Epcot! And guess what? I saw, (CHOOSE THE ANSWER: A: Elvis B: Kevin Bacon C: Britney Spears or D: Justin Bieber? If you picked anything other that D, you must not go on the Internet much) Justin Bieber. There was a giant shriek, and he had to go out the employee exit. When I was about to leave, I SAW A FREAKIN' ANGRY MOB OF TEENAGE GIRLS CHANTING "WE WANT JUSTIN"!!!!!! I had a great time at Epcot, if you ever go there try the space simulator and fast track. Tomorrow: a more detailed thing of Universal Studios!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Birthday Shoutout

Yo. First order of business- I'm wishing one of my fans, (Vicky) a happy birthday! The reason I haven't been writing a lot is A: I've had a fair amount of school stuff to do. B: The If Zombies Invade Your School thing took a lot out of me. C: I've been working on my stop motion, but you will not be disappointed by my new Harry Potter Brickfilm, (if you are, then frankly I don't care). And D: I've been writing scripts. More actual written pieces coming soon.
Harry Birthday To You
Harry Birthday To You
Harry Birthday Dear Vicky
Harry Birthday To You

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Friday, November 11, 2011

If Zombies Invade Your School Part 10- The Conclusion

With every bullet that hit the zombies' filthy bodies, I felt a terrible sadness, but only for a few seconds because I had to shoot more zombies. "We're at the thigh!" Dave said. "And you're at the die," a zombie said. "Gagagagagagaga!" said Dave as he took a machine gun and fired away. "His belly button is a swirling vortex!!" Olivia said. "Go around it!" Vanderdaze said. After several long minutes of fighting, we arrived at the neck, which was a spiral staircase. "Let's move out!" Dave said. He went first, but while he was running up, a zombie disintegrated and he fell to his death. "Ah man!" I said. As we went on we arrived at the top. But then, tragedy struck. I fell, only to be saved by Olivia. "AH!!" I said. "I got cha, big guy," Olivia said. "Thank you." "I would never let you fall." We reached the top only to see: a whole freakin' giant group of zombies with guns! At the top of the head was the controls. "Well, the best way out is always through!" Vanderdaze said. And we did that. We fought through the onslaught. I got shot in the body a few times, and once in the head. Olivia once in the knee. Vanderdaze, well, lets just say he won't be hearing in his left ear or walking for a while. "Come out and face me, you coward!" I yelled. "Ah, Patrick," Dr. P. said. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU! AH!!!!" I lunged myself at him. We fought for a while until  pulled out his heartamoberthingy, which apparently destroyed the zombie and it's parts went everywhere. "Well, now what?" I asked to the empty sky. "This," Olivia said. Then Olivia kissed me. Then all the zombie parts became people. Well, just about everything worked out.
The End?
Credits to Steve, Ragnav, Timmy, Cole, Sam, Nate, Ben.

If Zombies Invade Your School Part 9

After that, shocking confesion, everybody started freaking out. My anger got the best of me, and I pinned Dr. R. to the ground. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT YOUR CREATION HAS PUT US THROUGH?!! DO YOU?!!" "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't do it on purpose! I all started like this. I had ordered some human parts from Brazil a-" "Isn't that illegeal?" Olivia asked? " I've done things that could've made me a fugitive. Now, the parts were rotten, so I BURNED THEM! I BURNED THEM IN THE FURNACE! And somehow, the ashes got on the roof, and got struck by lightning, and the next thing I know a zombie is trying to kill me and my w- AH!" Dr. R. said. Dr. R. got bit by a zombie. His eyes turned red, his skin turned grey and BAM! Vanderdaze shot him with a pistol. "Let's roll. We go up to the brain. That's most likely we're the controls are," Vanderdaze said. "There are like 50 zombies on the knee!" Olivia yelled. "LOCK & LOAD!" I said.

If Zombies Invade Your School Part 8

Then, I came to. "Where am I?" I asked. " Your at Dr. R.'s house," Vandergaze said. "Gggggggg," I murmured. "What?" Vandergaze asked. "Iiiiiiiiaaaaaa," I murmured. "What, sugar lumps?" Olivia asked. "Nnnnnnntttttt," I murmured. "What, bro?" Dave asked. "GIANT ZOMBIE!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled.  The Giant Zombie kicked the house and totally destroyed it. "MY LAB!" Dr. R. yelled. With one more stomp, we were suddenly in the zombie's FOOT! "OMG, a zombie!" Olivia screeched. "This whole thing is made of zombies!" Dave said. "No, she means a walking zombie," Vandergaze said. "Falcon punch!" His punch just made a big hole in the zombie. "What? That's not cool, brother zombie!" "A zombie keeps walking unless it is beyond repair," Dave and Dr. R. said together. "You're a zombie guru too?" Dave asked Dr. R.. "I'm much more than a zombie guru. I'm a zombie creator."

If Zombies Invade Your School Part 7

"How will we escape?" Olivia whined. "We're off to see the wizard," I said. "That's from the wizard of Oz," Olivia said. "Yeah, well... shut up!" I said. "What about Dr. R. Derrickson?" she asked. Now, being a janitor, I've heard of Dr. R. Derrickson. He's in the wall of shame in the National Museum of Janitoriam. I'd only heard rumors. He once did an experiment that doused an entire town in goop. It took several months to clean it up. Not to mention he's responsible for thousands of explosions. Rumor has it you will find him at twilight on a second full moon of a month. Or he's standing out there getting mail. " Hello!" Dr. R. said. " There's a giant zombie right over there!" I said. " I blame the current president," he said. Current president? He is oldddd. " Let us in your house!" Olivia demanded. "OK." he said. Then out of nowhere, I giant spiked ball appeared, with a door. A door! A DOOR!!!!! Well, we entered. "Dad, all my friend's Facebook status' said "i am a zombie"!" a kid said. "Well, there's nothing I can do. Strangers, this is my son, Vandergaze," Dr. R. said. "Hiya," Vandergaze said. " Umm, Vandergaze, there's a giant zombie that wants to kill us," Olivia said. "WTF!" Vandergaze said.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

If Zombies Invade Your School Part 6

"Oh my gosh! There are like 7,678 zombies!" Olivia said. What happened next, I don't know, so I asked Dave, and this is what he said.
It happened so fast. Patrick jumped and faced the zombies, unnecessarily took his shirt off and then a giant beam shaped like an X appeared and he shot it at the zombies. There was zombie guts everywhere! I almost grabbed my gloves and plastic bags. Olivia cried for her lost friends and family members. Patrick saw her doing it just before he passed out. Then something amazing happened. The zombie parts started shaking. Then 1 by 1, they formed a giant master zombies with, guess who, on top. Dr. P. was on top of the giant zombie! I grabbed Patrick, and Olivia and I jumped off the roof. We also jumped into the windows of a car and, apparently, they left the keys in the car. Gosh, this is like Alan Wake. Good game. Well, the giant zombie had a great sense of knowledge because it tried to kill us by stomping on us. The stupid car barely started in time for us to avoid getting crushed by the giant zombie. Lets roll! We were being chased by the giant zombie and we nearly got killed a couple time. One time the giant zombie through a bunch of smaller zombies at us. It hit us and the zombies ripped our roof off. Luckily I still had some ammo left in my pistol.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Post Halloween Blues

DANG YOU, NUT ALLERGY!!!!!!!!!! DANG YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, October 31, 2011


HAPPY BELATED ANNIVERSARY PATRICK'S INVESTIGATIONS!!!!! I would have done this on time but my Internet has been out for the past few days so, yet again, I couldn't do my Anniversary on time. Oh well. PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!! YEAH!!!!! 2 YEARS BABY!!!! GO PATRICK!!!!! AND YOU THE FANS!!!! COULDN'T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!! EPIC!!!!!!!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

If Zombies Invade Your School Part 5

Now, some news with If Zombies Invade Your School. The final post will be published on November 11th at 11:11 Eastern Time. In the near future, if I can find a way, I will put a timer.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

"You shall not pass!" I said as I forcefully injected my bullets into their filthy bodies.

"Shoot me. Save yourselves," Owen said as his last flesh was converted into zombie. I did not want his death to go in vein, so I shot him then put him in the hole that the miner zombie had made. The miners were nothing special, just zombies that were trained to dig.

"What the heck? Why did you kill him?!" Olivia nagged.

"Well excuse me, Miss-OMG-Kill-Them," I snapped back.

"Stop it! We shouldn't be fighting!" Cole said.

Since Timmy hadn't returned, we'd seen Ben, Nate, and Owen turn into zombies, and logicly, Donald was a zombie. The last thing I saw of Timmy was him fleeing out the doors. So, and this is pure specticle, he ran to Mrs. Sty's class, because, knowing him, he would not have ran away and let us all die. And I bet Mrs. Sty turned him into a zombie 'cause I think I saw a zombie that looked exactly like him.

Suddenly I heard a great noise sounding like a commertial truck. Than a giant commertial truck came and busted open our metal doors protecting us.

"Oh my gosh! Get to the roof! The roof!" Olivia screamed. So, after fighting off numerous zombies, we made it to the roof.

My Graph, On The Corner Of My Pie

Click to enlarge.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Monday, October 17, 2011

Oh, The Situation Is Known In Every Nation

I wish I was known in every nation. A man can dream. :{) Bring back the moustache symbol! (Not that it was ever in or used)

Monday, October 10, 2011

Happy Birthday, Steven!

I'm going to wish Steve a happy birthday!

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear Steve!
Happy birthday to you!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Tough Love: Darth Vader Style

Hey guys, I created this myself, so please click on the video, go to YouTube, give it thumbs up, favorite it, and subscribe to me! Please! Please subscribe! CJ will luv u forevr! So go! Subscribe! Do it now!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Duh, Winning!

Old joke, but still HI-LARIOUS!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

If Zombies Invade Your School Part 4

Chello! I'm sorry that I haven't posted a sequel to Part 3. But wait! I'M POSTING ONE NOW! WHAT? You don't remember 3 or 2 or 1? That's okay. NO IT'S NOT! I'll just put the links. WELL OKAY THEN!
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

With Nate and Ben zombiefied, and Timmy missing, possible dead, things weren't looking good. Owen's big bag of weapons was big and equipped with ammo, but we were running out of ammo. "We got some garlic?" Owen asked.

"Yes," Olivia responded.

"Boil it for 5 minutes, then put the bullets in the pot," Owen said.

Olivia gave Owen her "look" and started preparing the garlic. "Ah  Garlic Bullets. Those kill Zombies from the inside," Dave said.

"I thought garlic killed vampires," said Timmy.

"It does. But ever since Zombies and Vampires started mixing it up, Zombies are severely weakened by garlic," Dave said.

At that very moment, a miner zombie drilled it's way into the kitchen, and grabbed Donald and pulled him down.

"MY HOBO BROTHER!" Dave yelled.

Dave was about to jump in the hole to when Cole grabbed him, pinned him to the ground, tied him up with some rope, took a glove, and then said:
"Are you mad sir?!"

And then he started slapping Dave repeatedly with the glove until Dave said:

"Okay, OKAY! I admit I shouldn't have done that, but what could you expect?" Dave said.

While they were arguing, they failed to notice about ten zombies had climbed through the hole the miner made and had bitten Owen.

"AHHHHHHHH! KILL THEM NOW!!" Olivia screamed.

"Time to eat lead!"


Saturday, October 1, 2011

Patz Riddle of Today: A.S.H.L.E.Y.

Say the opposite of each word.


Leave your answer in the comments below.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Weird Orange



A Sample Of My Secret Project

I'm so jealous of you, because you get to see a piece of my AWESOME secret project for the first time.

Patrick: Nothers.
Chase: Why are you worried? They're on our side.
Patrick: We're in a Sother car.
(Nothers start shooting them with advanced weaponry)
Chase: Should we kill them?
Patrick: Are you crazy?
Chase: Yes.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

It's Sad What Yugioh Players Will Do To Win

I'm afraid to say, that the video above, most likely happened several times around the world. Most people who played Six Sams "dropped their deck at the first sight of one of their key cards getting hit on the banlist". Reference to Star Wars 4. It's sad to see so many duelists thinking this. Now, I never liked Six Samurais, but I feel the need to say you shouldn't ditch the archetype just because the main card got hit. And probably the best search card, also. It happened to Blackwings. I play them. And I intend to win tomorrows tournament. To see a similar article, click here.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Pat'z Riddlez 1: Random Riddlez!

Hey! Here's the first instalment of Pat'z Riddlez 1. I got the riddles from Tricky Riddles. When you get a riddle correct, you get a point and it goes in my big jar of riddles. At the end of a certain period of time, whoever has the most points is granted the title of "Best Riddle Solver Who Reads Patrick's Investigations". All riddle answer guesses must be in the comments. Here's the riddles.
1: What starts with P and ends with E and has more than 1,000 letters?

2: Why did the boy throw the watch out the window?

3: Jon was born in Albuquerque on a date not divisible by 2,3, or 5 and on a month with neither an I nor an E. When does he turn one year older?

4: What are they? They are dark and on the run, and without the sun, there would be 

5: What's the difference between a lazy student and a fisherman?

6: Jamie had trouble choosing a skirt. She had 27 skirts in her closet. She put on a skirt, and there was still 27 skirts in her closet. How is this possible?

7: I am always in water but I never get wet. What am I?

8: A taxi driver crossed a red light. A police officer was there but didn't confront the driver. Why?

9: What color would you paint the sun and the wind?

10: What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?

Good luck guys! Leave a comment with your guesses!

Dementor's Kisses

Mmmm, mmmm, good! With every kiss you eat, the more of your sole you lose! D-E-M-E-N-T-O-R 's KISSES!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Patz Dayz September 10, 2011 My Freakin' Toe Is Bleeding!

Hey guys! It's me! Patrick! And my freakin' toe was bleeding recently. I'm part of Cub Scouts, and my mom appointed me, with no personal choice, to plant plants for some dumb thing at the high school. It was tedious work. My toe was bleeding after I was done. Mesa will never do that again. That was something that was not worth the badge. Jar Jar Binks reference! Other than that, I went to the mall because that was were the nearest Apple Store was. I wanted the elephant! I also got the 6th Harry Potter book. Yes, I read 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. On the way home, we stopped at a Boarders, (they're almost completely out of business) and everything was 80 or 90% off, but it looked like the store had been ransacked. I would've played tennis, but I forget to bring my sneakers. Oh well.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Patz Dayz September 3, 2011 The State Fair

I didn't have time to do this yesterday so here it is, today!
Okay, I just got back from the NY State Fair, and here's the highlights:
1: My mom spent 100 bucks on arcade games, mainly for me, but she did play too, we stink at skee ball. Note to self, buy a black angry birds plush to make myself fell better.
2: I got a stuffed Bob Marley banana! And a smaller banana!
4:Okra sounds like Oprah. I'm watching an Iron Chef America right know.
5: Fresh Squeezed Lemonade is more expensive, but better than regular!
6: My mom <3s Clydes. Picture above.
7: Those "AMAZING 4 FOOT RAT" and other weird attractions are rip offs, they are fake!
The state fair was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And for what happened today and last night.

I convinced my mom to stop at my dad's house to pickup something I ordered. She was skeptical about it, but it was worth it. Better pulls above, (they were Yu-Gi-Oh tins)
Today, I did a whole lot of nothing. I consider the day seized.